#the old men yaoi ain’t leaving me alone

[l-alan-l]

Saw Holiday on Ice today and literally the only thing that I kept thinking about was how I could turn this into a Capvers AU

[aiden-and-jody]

I fell guilty every time I cringe in repulsion at gay-guy porn, especially yaoi. It’s for one reason; no women, no thank you.

Just a porn preference, see I set that up to look all bad but it wasn’t. I just have to say though, being this is my book of shadows and not yours, that...

I just really don’t care about two dudes my dude. This is self expression, not an attack on your opinions. I’m talking about the porn I like, not your lifestyle. Okay? Okay. The opening? It’s called a joke.

And man I’m like SO bored when I see two dudes. I’m like ew get a chick in there so I can feel something. This is because I just find female bodies more interesting, and I also can’t and won’t get off to two guys who’d probably be upset that I was masturbating to them.

Think about it female yaoi fans; if the guys you were jilling/jerking it to suddenly turned around and saw you... they’d throw you out. Yell at you. Call you disgusting. Like... the idea of porn, FOR ME, is that you put yourself into the shoes of the person. Why jerk it to people who aren’t attracted to you?

See I had a big weeaboo phase as a kid where I distanced myself mentally from my real body and came up with an OC replacement for myself. Someone I deemed thinner, prettier, better. She looked as tacky and DeviantART as you can imagine, and I put this version of myself forward in all my thought processes.

So for those who say “it’s my OC I think about with them” bros you can’t play pretend that hard so far into adulthood. It’s a natural part of childhood and I ain’t here dissing any 13 year olds for doing it but if you’re 18+ it’s time to stop. I’m not saying don’t “have OC’s” either but you realized a mature creative writer doesn’t call their original characters OC’s or self inserts because they’re full fledged characters written for their work. Aaron Paul isn’t gonna call BoJack his OC, I just clock anyone using OC’s as below the age of 18.

And being that I have NSFW things on here, I’m going to start distancing myself from anyone I think is below that age. I appreciate the people that follow this blog but it’s a book of shadows, not something I’m obsessively checking how many follow me. So anyone that posts yaoi and self inserts, I’m gonna be unfollowing.

For the record it’s my dashboard and it’s for me, and I only want on it what I want on it. No female pussy, no female dick, no thank you. I’m attracted to men but not gay men because I’m not deserpate and sad and when I see gay men I show them the respect I wanted from straight men when I was younger; I leave them the fuck alone.

And have you ever stopped to really ask how the gay men in the porn would feel to find out a woman was jacking it to it? Come on. If you wanna feel like you could be laughed at mid masturbation then that’s your deal. Idk man, my sexuality is too sacred to me, and the sexuality of those who do NOT want me to participate.

Like leave them alone you faghag. They have a term for said women that only like gay men. It’s really just.... it’s sad. It’s unfeminist, it’s unfriendly to gay men, it’s just disrespecting yourself and them at the same time.

“But guys jerk to women who don’t want them all the time” do they? Do they tho? You sure those lesbians are real and not two paid straight women? They’d only find the real lesbians in the female ejaculation category and idk how many DUDEbros are going into there. There’s still scared of our bodies.

And I GUESS you could tell me to fuck off and watch whatever porn you want but I still think it’s hella embarrassing

[vivalasthedas]

Joseph romance ending ramblings cause fuck it i’m bored 

I entirely see where the criticisms are coming from. The choice to make him seem closeted isn’t one without meaning and the writers should’ve thought about how it would come across, and they’re definitely not handling the push back well. At all. 

However. As the kid of parents who have both cheated, with a sister who has cheated with friends who condone cheating, his story makes a lot of sense and does work pretty well. He isn’t that unhappy. He’s fucking playing you. It’s an act, and from the dialog it’s one he’s used before. 

He wants to have his marriage and keep banging other people on the side so he does that incredibly cliche married man thing of ‘its not working out’ ‘im so unhappy’ but then they decide the hassle of divorce, the loss of reputation, the potential loss of money or access to kids etc. is just not worth it. They’re going to make it work. Give it the old college try. This is literally every piece of media where the main girl boinks a married man. It was set up in this exact same way. 

The unfortunate implications that the writers were fucking idiots to not think about or realize is that by having him be religious, by having his cheating only be with men, they set up a very clear and real and painful reality for a lot of closeted religious gay men who experience compulsory heterosexuality and increased cultural pressure to conform to it. A happy ending for a religious gay man is incredibly uncommon and they ignored this and decided to just keep following that trend. Which is bullshit. 

But Joseph isn’t meant as some incredibly unhappy closeted married man. He’s meant as a cheater who wants to keep the reputation and appearance of a het. marriage and kids and religious cornerstone stuff but also bang people on the side. He asks that of you, to be his side piece, and from the dialog he likely did the same to Robert. Strung along either as a dirty little secret or with the promise of he’ll leave her soon. 

And if it were truly a moment of weakness it would be once. It would be a moment. A single time accident it wouldn’t be a pattern of cheating and wanting to maintain long term extramarital affairs. 

And HOLY SHIT

can we cool it with the dumb shit of ‘if mary was a boy you’d hate her’ no. Stop. You don’t get to erase decades of heavy obvious fandom misogyny with wild accusations like that. If Mary were a dude the story would’ve made it much clearer that Joseph was a cheater not a deeply unhappy closeted religious man. It actually would’ve solved a number of the issues with the story. 

But. If she were a dude there would be so many people absolutely in love with her, drawing their dadsona with her instead. Yaoi fan girls wanting to romance her instead or demanding an ot3 ending. 

The initial reaction to Mary was one rooted in clear and pervasive fandom sexism. Demonizing her to make him seem so much more sad and puppy dog until you realize that out of the two of them she’s probably the one who’s a lot more actually fucking ruined. 

And I’m seeing way too many mlm who are getting hyped and angry about the joseph thing repeating the same shit that fangirls did in the first few hours when it comes to their approach to mary. 

‘cheating isn’t just sex’ you’re right, it’s not. Personally I don’t think what Mary does constitutes cheating, she goes out and drinks and flirts and then returns alone and unhappy. Never acting on it. Just looking for validation she sure as shit ain’t getting at home. 

But Joseph? He fucks other people. And she knows about it. From dialog with her it seems it’s a common issue, so much so that she recognizes his type and his patterns. That’s cheating. And in no way does what she does compare. 

She is not an ‘innocent’ party in this, she could’ve done something, ended things, her coping mechanism is harmful and has led to an alcoholic parent. Which, from experience as the kid in a very similar situation, is fucking miserable. She seems like a pretty fucking neglectful parent but so does he honestly. We get that one good scene with him and his daughter but we also know he’d rather sit around and read about knot tying than stop his two young children vanishing into deep woods. And he’d rather keep them in an unhappy environment he created than deal with it. 

They’re both fucking miserable because of the shit he’s started and caused. She did not cause him to cheat, he made those decissions. 

They fucked up how they handled it by not making it much clearer that he is faking that shit. Even Robert warns you he’s fucking lying. And to some extent I get why they did that, to make it more believable. But that isn’t a decision you can remove from context of an sga man who is religious and married to a woman. It’s poorly handled and deserves a lot of criticism. 

But how about we stop trying to make it ‘even’ stop trying to make Mary into the villain here. They’ve both fucked up, but i kinda think the guy who has boinked people outside of his marriage multiple times but would rather keep his dysfunctional and unhappy family together because it’s easier and better for him, as a pillar of the community, to do so instead of letting things disolve and separate and move on, is probably a bit more to blame than the woman who saw her husband cheat on her time and time again and turned to alcohol because of it. 

And goddamn is this pretty difficult for me to write because i’m basically defending my mom here. And I hate her. As her kid I fucking hate her because she did the same thing, she turned to alcohol and drugs to deal with emotionally unfulfilling relationships and it destroyed us. But know who started that shit? The men. My dad and her partner. Who cheated on her. 

And I’ve seen my dad do the same shit Joseph does. He was in such a bad place, it hurt so much, mom just didn’t understand, new woman did etc. etc. 

It’s common justifications to cheating. Was the decision to have him be religious fucking stupid and cause a whole heap of unnecessary and avoidable drama because it ignored current political and cultural pressures? YES. VERY YES. Does that mean he’s not a scummy cheater who has caused irreparable damage to his family? NOPE.